It took me 4 years to get my husband to start running. My husband, D, enjoys his game of tennis and golf and I would say is generally fit. But when it came to running, his pet retort was – running is not a sport, it does not require any skill, why would I engage in a activity as boring as running, what do you "do" when you run??? So for my first year of running, he watched me from the sidelines as I moved from a 5k to a 21km. He was curious and was impressed and so even came to cheer me for my first ADHM. But by the second year, the novelty had worn off. As per him, I had started disappearing too often in the mornings. Though, all through this, he remained supportive of my new found love – be it when I splurged on the Garmin, new running shoes, other fancy stuff new runners typically buy – body glides, gels, visors, etc. or in taking care of kids when I started registering for out of town races.
By the third year I had reached a full marathon level and his interest in my running was back. He was also curious about my runner friends – the fact that I was not alone and there were other “crazies” like me. I did a 50k ultra around this time and it left him suitably impressed. By now he had realized that this is not a passing fad and that running in my life is here to stay and he has to make peace with my new passion. And so my decision to run the 80km at Bhatti in 2013, was acknowledged with a discussion on how I plan to train for the 80km, how will I manage being on feet for a 12hr period etc etc. I don’t know what changed but for the first time, he agreed to accompany me for my training runs. I kicked off my training with a 10X10 (i.e. 10kms each day for 10 consecutive days) and he agreed to join me for a 5k each day. And that’s when we became a “running couple”. He too had become a runner !!!!! It was fun in the beginning – motivating him, pushing him to get up and get ready for a run when all he wanted to do was sleep, listen to his tirade on aches and pains etc etc. It was fun to show off my “knowledge and experience” and telling him – about the right posture, is the speed slow or fast, stretches after the run and ofcourse introduction to “The Garmin”. He is a number freak and all the nice graphs and data gave him a good feed for detailed analysis on how the run went – ofcourse followed by the paralysis of my brain listening to all the inferences and calculations from that data. We runners get a high at the finish, his high is with a lag - when he sees the numbers. Till then he is grumpy – grumpy enough to tell others by a sign language – “Don’t Talk to me” !!!!!
This is us post his second ADHM... all smiles !!!!
So well, that was how he became a runner too !!! Hows my life after that – he has completed 3 HMs since then, improving his timings in each one of them; he knows my running gang well and does not think they are a bunch of crazies but is impressed with the mind blowing ultra feats they do; sometimes, just sometimes, its nice to get a kick in the back if I am lazy to go out for a run; there is pride and awe for my running achievements and he even pushes me to better myself each time; there is a respect for the way I follow my passion balancing all my other responsibilities in life; when I splurge on a pair of new shoes or some fancy running stuff – no more raising of eyebrows; words like PB, Gels, Ultras, Trail Run / Road Run, Intervals, Tempos are said and understood alike; we finally have a fitness activity we do together; on a holiday I get a running partner to explore new routes and tracks; and together we are role models for our kids.
But there is the other side – I now have a critic at home who analyses each of my runs and sometimes you just don’t want to hear “that’s it, you only did a 7k”, “you were very slow today!!!”; the box of Gels disappear faster than I plan; the new Garmin is for him; the detailed analysis post every run – which also gets shared on each of the whatsapp group he is on with family and friends – for the next many many days – is tiring. Uff!!; his races and runs take a priority over mine; a missed run and I am to blame; just too much run related talk happening at home and sometimes I am the recipient of the running gyan !!!!!
It’s a great feeling to have inspired him to take up running. In this busy life, with daily discussions largely centering around personal and professional agendas, we have found a common stress-buster topic to connect on passionately and this shared commitment towards being healthy and fit is a great binding factor between us.
I also asked a few friends – running couples – to share their views on how is it to have a runner spouse and here goes :
Ranjana & Nitin
Her : We happened to start almost together about 4 yrs back - me into running and Nitin into cycling and picked up each others sport only in last 2 years. Nitin jokes sometimes that he picked up running so that he could run behind me but on a serious note - I have become a focused runner only in the last year or so bcoz of my designated coach - Nitin. He's more thorough, meticulous about the work outs and an inspiration at home and what better than your life partner encouraging you to challenge your limits.
Him : More than Running together its the process of doing our workouts together which gives me an immensely satisfying feeling. It's a sense of achievement coming from a non sports background and just these small steps every day makes for a perfect start to the day. You know what your partner is going through prior to the run and inspite of not in the ideal shape it's just good to have a support which pushes you every now and then.
Puneeta & Princy
Her : He pushed me because he himself got into it. Although, on a serious note, it does make me feel proud when people comment that we don't look our age & how much weight we have lost & want us to share our secret. Of course, I'm also now almost an addict where I've begun to feel guilty about not working out or not able to run for whatever reason. He's been very patient with me to help me get to a point where I can run on my own for 21 kms and enjoy it. However, there have been enough arguments about how much, what speed, building pressure of time etc. And it's always a pleasure when you cultivate a new hobby together. After being married for years, it's like rediscovering each other, nurturing new habits, it's a wonderful experience and the best side effect is that it makes one fitter, healthier individual.
Him : As I trace back my journey of running I realize how much difference a running spouse can make. When I started running regularly the most challenging part was handling comments like - "running se shaadi kyon nahi kar lete", "Ya toh run kar lo you mere saath reh lo", "raat mein 2:30 ko koi bhagne jaata hai kya?"
When she started running, she could not run 100m, but 6 months down the line an easy 10k happened without a break. Not sure how much that meant to her but to me it was as if I had scaled Mount Everest. And one of those lazy days when I did not want to run I heard her say "I am heading out for a short run" which turned out to be a 10k. The "short" got redefined from 100m to 10000m just like that.
I got new names as I accompanied her for her runs and for her to run better; Personal Coach, Wife torturer, Slave Master and what not but this was in jest. Now I see the down side because she is having an injury and that is keeping my motivation also down and I am slackening in my running discipline.
But it is these moments in the morning which have become a lifeline of togetherness and joy. We joke, we fight about but the focus is always us. Now running or no running we are fitness believers and really enjoy what comes with it.
Seema and Vishesh
Her : It’s a blessing to have your spouse as a runner – innumerable benefits beginning from someone to wake you up with a cup of coffee, someone to drag you out of bed when you feel sluggish. There is so much to talk about, strategize, plan and pace runs with each other. We know each other's likings – anything running related – and so buying gifts is easy !!!!! and no questions asked when you leave home at 5 for a run and get back home at 12 – because both of us were there !!!!!! Its fun to be fit together - so that we both stay healthy, live better and happier. And importantly, when you don’t run well, we both sulk together and a great run means we celebrate together!!!!!
Him : With her taking up running - the problem that I had to catwalk out of the room to get ready for morning runs has vanished; we can go on talking for hours on the topic of running – a common topic to talk about – pre run, post run.
By the third year I had reached a full marathon level and his interest in my running was back. He was also curious about my runner friends – the fact that I was not alone and there were other “crazies” like me. I did a 50k ultra around this time and it left him suitably impressed. By now he had realized that this is not a passing fad and that running in my life is here to stay and he has to make peace with my new passion. And so my decision to run the 80km at Bhatti in 2013, was acknowledged with a discussion on how I plan to train for the 80km, how will I manage being on feet for a 12hr period etc etc. I don’t know what changed but for the first time, he agreed to accompany me for my training runs. I kicked off my training with a 10X10 (i.e. 10kms each day for 10 consecutive days) and he agreed to join me for a 5k each day. And that’s when we became a “running couple”. He too had become a runner !!!!! It was fun in the beginning – motivating him, pushing him to get up and get ready for a run when all he wanted to do was sleep, listen to his tirade on aches and pains etc etc. It was fun to show off my “knowledge and experience” and telling him – about the right posture, is the speed slow or fast, stretches after the run and ofcourse introduction to “The Garmin”. He is a number freak and all the nice graphs and data gave him a good feed for detailed analysis on how the run went – ofcourse followed by the paralysis of my brain listening to all the inferences and calculations from that data. We runners get a high at the finish, his high is with a lag - when he sees the numbers. Till then he is grumpy – grumpy enough to tell others by a sign language – “Don’t Talk to me” !!!!!
This is us post his second ADHM... all smiles !!!!
So well, that was how he became a runner too !!! Hows my life after that – he has completed 3 HMs since then, improving his timings in each one of them; he knows my running gang well and does not think they are a bunch of crazies but is impressed with the mind blowing ultra feats they do; sometimes, just sometimes, its nice to get a kick in the back if I am lazy to go out for a run; there is pride and awe for my running achievements and he even pushes me to better myself each time; there is a respect for the way I follow my passion balancing all my other responsibilities in life; when I splurge on a pair of new shoes or some fancy running stuff – no more raising of eyebrows; words like PB, Gels, Ultras, Trail Run / Road Run, Intervals, Tempos are said and understood alike; we finally have a fitness activity we do together; on a holiday I get a running partner to explore new routes and tracks; and together we are role models for our kids.
But there is the other side – I now have a critic at home who analyses each of my runs and sometimes you just don’t want to hear “that’s it, you only did a 7k”, “you were very slow today!!!”; the box of Gels disappear faster than I plan; the new Garmin is for him; the detailed analysis post every run – which also gets shared on each of the whatsapp group he is on with family and friends – for the next many many days – is tiring. Uff!!; his races and runs take a priority over mine; a missed run and I am to blame; just too much run related talk happening at home and sometimes I am the recipient of the running gyan !!!!!
It’s a great feeling to have inspired him to take up running. In this busy life, with daily discussions largely centering around personal and professional agendas, we have found a common stress-buster topic to connect on passionately and this shared commitment towards being healthy and fit is a great binding factor between us.
I also asked a few friends – running couples – to share their views on how is it to have a runner spouse and here goes :
Ranjana & Nitin
Her : We happened to start almost together about 4 yrs back - me into running and Nitin into cycling and picked up each others sport only in last 2 years. Nitin jokes sometimes that he picked up running so that he could run behind me but on a serious note - I have become a focused runner only in the last year or so bcoz of my designated coach - Nitin. He's more thorough, meticulous about the work outs and an inspiration at home and what better than your life partner encouraging you to challenge your limits.
Him : More than Running together its the process of doing our workouts together which gives me an immensely satisfying feeling. It's a sense of achievement coming from a non sports background and just these small steps every day makes for a perfect start to the day. You know what your partner is going through prior to the run and inspite of not in the ideal shape it's just good to have a support which pushes you every now and then.
Puneeta & Princy
Her : He pushed me because he himself got into it. Although, on a serious note, it does make me feel proud when people comment that we don't look our age & how much weight we have lost & want us to share our secret. Of course, I'm also now almost an addict where I've begun to feel guilty about not working out or not able to run for whatever reason. He's been very patient with me to help me get to a point where I can run on my own for 21 kms and enjoy it. However, there have been enough arguments about how much, what speed, building pressure of time etc. And it's always a pleasure when you cultivate a new hobby together. After being married for years, it's like rediscovering each other, nurturing new habits, it's a wonderful experience and the best side effect is that it makes one fitter, healthier individual.
Him : As I trace back my journey of running I realize how much difference a running spouse can make. When I started running regularly the most challenging part was handling comments like - "running se shaadi kyon nahi kar lete", "Ya toh run kar lo you mere saath reh lo", "raat mein 2:30 ko koi bhagne jaata hai kya?"
When she started running, she could not run 100m, but 6 months down the line an easy 10k happened without a break. Not sure how much that meant to her but to me it was as if I had scaled Mount Everest. And one of those lazy days when I did not want to run I heard her say "I am heading out for a short run" which turned out to be a 10k. The "short" got redefined from 100m to 10000m just like that.
I got new names as I accompanied her for her runs and for her to run better; Personal Coach, Wife torturer, Slave Master and what not but this was in jest. Now I see the down side because she is having an injury and that is keeping my motivation also down and I am slackening in my running discipline.
But it is these moments in the morning which have become a lifeline of togetherness and joy. We joke, we fight about but the focus is always us. Now running or no running we are fitness believers and really enjoy what comes with it.
Seema and Vishesh
Her : It’s a blessing to have your spouse as a runner – innumerable benefits beginning from someone to wake you up with a cup of coffee, someone to drag you out of bed when you feel sluggish. There is so much to talk about, strategize, plan and pace runs with each other. We know each other's likings – anything running related – and so buying gifts is easy !!!!! and no questions asked when you leave home at 5 for a run and get back home at 12 – because both of us were there !!!!!! Its fun to be fit together - so that we both stay healthy, live better and happier. And importantly, when you don’t run well, we both sulk together and a great run means we celebrate together!!!!!
Him : With her taking up running - the problem that I had to catwalk out of the room to get ready for morning runs has vanished; we can go on talking for hours on the topic of running – a common topic to talk about – pre run, post run.
Fun post Rashmi- thanks for sharing! I remember those early days when we first met - when you mentioned a sense of guilt in leaving the family at home and its amazing to see the transition where your running buddies now includes your husband. My new husband and I have started on the SAME journey as you...already I see so many parallels- Give us a few months and I will have a story to add!
ReplyDeleteLovely!!! Would be fun to read your story too!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat write-up Rashmi - thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sundeep!!!
DeleteGreat write up.
ReplyDelete