Running Together

It took me 4 years to get my husband to start running. My husband, D, enjoys his game of tennis and golf and I would say is generally fit. But when it came to running, his pet retort was – running is not a sport, it does not require any skill, why would I engage in a activity as boring as running, what do you "do" when you run??? So for my first year of running, he watched me from the sidelines as I moved from a 5k to a 21km. He was curious and was impressed and so even came to cheer me for my first ADHM. But by the second year, the novelty had worn off. As per him, I had started disappearing too often in the mornings. Though, all through this, he remained supportive of my new found love – be it when I splurged on the Garmin, new running shoes, other fancy stuff new runners typically buy – body glides, gels, visors, etc. or in taking care of kids when I started registering for out of town races.

By the third year I had reached a full marathon level and his interest in my running was back. He was also curious about my runner friends – the fact that I was not alone and there were other “crazies” like me. I did a 50k ultra around this time and it left him suitably impressed. By now he had realized that this is not a passing fad and that running in my life is here to stay and he has to make peace with my new passion. And so my decision to run the 80km at Bhatti in 2013, was acknowledged with a discussion on how I plan to train for the 80km, how will I manage being on feet for a 12hr period etc etc. I don’t know what changed but for the first time, he agreed to accompany me for my training runs. I kicked off my training with a 10X10 (i.e. 10kms each day for 10 consecutive days) and he agreed to join me for a 5k each day. And that’s when we became a “running couple”. He too had become a runner !!!!! It was fun in the beginning – motivating him, pushing him to get up and get ready for a run when all he wanted to do was sleep, listen to his tirade on aches and pains etc etc. It was fun to show off my “knowledge and experience” and telling him – about the right posture, is the speed slow or fast, stretches after the run and ofcourse introduction to “The Garmin”. He is a number freak and all the nice graphs and data gave him a good feed for detailed analysis on how the run went – ofcourse followed by the paralysis of my brain listening to all the inferences and calculations from that data. We runners get a high at the finish, his high is with a lag - when he sees the numbers. Till then he is grumpy – grumpy enough to tell others by a sign language – “Don’t Talk to me” !!!!!

This is us post his second ADHM... all smiles !!!!

So well, that was how he became a runner too !!! Hows my life after that – he has completed 3 HMs since then, improving his timings in each one of them; he knows my running gang well and does not think they are a bunch of crazies but is impressed with the mind blowing ultra feats they do; sometimes, just sometimes, its nice to get a kick in the back if I am lazy to go out for a run; there is pride and awe for my running achievements and he even pushes me to better myself each time; there is a respect for the way I follow my passion balancing all my other responsibilities in life; when I splurge on a pair of new shoes or some fancy running stuff – no more raising of eyebrows; words like PB, Gels, Ultras, Trail Run / Road Run, Intervals, Tempos are said and understood alike; we finally have a fitness activity we do together; on a holiday I get a running partner to explore new routes and tracks; and together we are role models for our kids.

But there is the other side – I now have a critic at home who analyses each of my runs and sometimes you just don’t want to hear “that’s it, you only did a 7k”, “you were very slow today!!!”; the box of Gels disappear faster than I plan; the new Garmin is for him; the detailed analysis post every run – which also gets shared on each of the whatsapp group he is on with family and friends – for the next many many days – is tiring. Uff!!; his races and runs take a priority over mine; a missed run and I am to blame; just too much run related talk happening at home and sometimes I am the recipient of the running gyan !!!!!

It’s a great feeling to have inspired him to take up running. In this busy life, with daily discussions largely centering around personal and professional agendas, we have found a common stress-buster topic to connect on passionately and this shared commitment towards being healthy and fit is a great binding factor between us.

I also asked a few friends – running couples – to share their views on how is it to have a runner spouse and here goes :

Ranjana & Nitin

Her : We happened to start almost together about 4 yrs back - me into running and Nitin into cycling and picked up each others sport only in last 2 years. Nitin jokes sometimes that he picked up running so that he could run behind me but on a serious note - I have become a focused runner only in the last year or so bcoz of my designated coach - Nitin. He's more thorough, meticulous about the work outs and an inspiration at home and what better than your life partner encouraging you to challenge your limits.

Him : More than Running together its the process of doing our workouts together which gives me an immensely satisfying feeling. It's a sense of achievement coming from a non sports background and just these small steps every day makes for a perfect start to the day. You know what your partner is going through prior to the run and inspite of not in the ideal shape it's just good to have a support which pushes you every now and then.

Puneeta & Princy

Her : He pushed me because he himself got into it. Although, on a serious note, it does make me feel proud when people comment that we don't look our age & how much weight we have lost & want us to share our secret. Of course, I'm also now almost an addict where I've begun to feel guilty about not working out or not able to run for whatever reason. He's been very patient with me to help me get to a point where I can run on my own for 21 kms and enjoy it. However, there have been enough arguments about how much, what speed, building pressure of time etc. And it's always a pleasure when you cultivate a new hobby together. After being married for years, it's like rediscovering each other, nurturing new habits, it's a wonderful experience and the best side effect is that it makes one fitter, healthier individual.

Him : As I trace back my journey of running I realize how much difference a running spouse can make. When I started running regularly the most challenging part was handling comments like - "running se shaadi kyon nahi kar lete", "Ya toh run kar lo you mere saath reh lo", "raat mein 2:30 ko koi bhagne jaata hai kya?"

When she started running, she could not run 100m, but 6 months down the line an easy 10k happened without a break. Not sure how much that meant to her but to me it was as if I had scaled Mount Everest. And one of those lazy days when I did not want to run I heard her say "I am heading out for a short run" which turned out to be a 10k. The "short" got redefined from 100m to 10000m just like that.

I got new names as I accompanied her for her runs and for her to run better; Personal Coach, Wife torturer, Slave Master and what not but this was in jest. Now I see the down side because she is having an injury and that is keeping my motivation also down and I am slackening in my running discipline.

But it is these moments in the morning which have become a lifeline of togetherness and joy. We joke, we fight about but the focus is always us. Now running or no running we are fitness believers and really enjoy what comes with it.

Seema and Vishesh

Her : It’s a blessing to have your spouse as a runner – innumerable benefits beginning from someone to wake you up with a cup of coffee, someone to drag you out of bed when you feel sluggish. There is so much to talk about, strategize, plan and pace runs with each other. We know each other's likings – anything running related – and so buying gifts is easy !!!!! and no questions asked when you leave home at 5 for a run and get back home at 12 – because both of us were there !!!!!! Its fun to be fit together - so that we both stay healthy, live better and happier. And importantly, when you don’t run well, we both sulk together and a great run means we celebrate together!!!!!

Him : With her taking up running - the problem that I had to catwalk out of the room to get ready for morning runs has vanished; we can go on talking for hours on the topic of running – a common topic to talk about – pre run, post run.

Lessons from the SEALs

It was very late on that Saturday night or more like a very early Sunday morning, that I was sitting up on my bed sick to the core, with a running nose, watery eyes and constant sneezing and debating on what to do about my 30km run in the morning. With no sleep in the eyes, I turned to the net to while away my time. And with those watery eyes, jumping from one article to the other, I spent the next 1 hour reading about the Navy SEALS. It was so motivating and inspiring that I showed up for my long run in the morning with just 3 hours of sleep and suffering from a bad cold. And went on to complete the run as well. (Disclaimer - I am not saying that reading about SEALs when you are sick and then showing up for a long run is a sensible thing!!!).

Anyways back to the Navy SEALS. Zero Dark Thirty and many movies before that have shown us how the SEALs do the unthinkable, the impossible and the most adventurous. And for that we are in awe of them. So much so that, one of us, an American entrepreneur named Jesse Itzler even got one of them to move in with him for 31 days to train him. Here is the link to the book he wrote about his experience living with a SEAL.
http://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/jesse-itzler/living-with-a-seal/9781455534678/
(The book was ordered that same very night and can be borrowed from me). He talks of how he was living on the edge always – there was no pattern to his days, there were no limits but how he enjoyed it immensely.

Why are the SEALs the way they are? What makes them so tough and so determined? The answer to that is in two parts –

One, starts at an individual’s decision to become a SEAL. Anyone who signs up for it knows its no party he is going for. It’s that person’s mental strength that makes him commit to this new life – and that’s what is true about running as well. You have to get that will power – to get up each day / alternate day be it hot, cold or rains and go for a run, to run those long distances in preparation for your races, to sweat it out. Running is a physical activity but its not guided by your body but by the mind and your will. The body just aids the process.

Two, is the training they go through. Here are a few training mantras that I picked up from the various articles I read that night and which are all so relevant for us runners too.

1. “When your mind tells you that you are done, you are only 40 percent done!!” – Don’t we all know about the famous “Wall” we hit in each of our HM and Full Marathons. It’s the mind that plays all those games with us. And we recover from it to finish our races. So believe in this rule and tell your mind “I am not done yet!!” at all those crucial moments and continue.

2. Do small things right – One of the commandments for the SEALs is - Make up your bed first thing in the morning –Start the day with an accomplishment even if its a small task and that one completed task will lead to a “high” to help you complete many more tasks. For me I have replaced “making my bed” with “get a run in the morning” and I am full of energy, a whole lot chirpier and in a good mood to tackle the day. The endorphins keep me on a “high” to keep accomplishing things during the day.

3. Suck it up – One of the punishments during SEAL training known as a "sugar cookie” is where a student is made to run, fully clothed into the surfzone and then, wet from head to toe, roll around on the beach until every part of the body is covered with sand and he stays in that that uniform the rest of the day--cold, wet and sandy. It may hurt and you may feel as you will collapse any moment during the run, but sometimes you have to suck it up – because there is no choice. The run has to be completed and finish line has to be crossed. One of the best advice I got for my Comrades run was – “Don’t Stop. Just keep moving – one foot in front of the other because thats the only way you will reach Durban.” And that’s what I did.

4. Visualise success – Imagine yourself at the finish line with Garmin showing the time you wanted, imagine yourself with your favorite drink in hand and narrating your race story to your friends post run – all these are ways to get yourself pumped up. I remember crossing the finish line dancing when I got my PB for the HM and now before a race I always visualize myself doing the same dance to charge myself. Another way is to run the route in your mind, with your strong body and mind carrying you through the course effortlessly.

5. Seek support and be a support – One of the sadistic incidents mentioned in an article was about an entire team being forced to stand in freezing water up to their necks, while their instructors told them they wouldn't let them out until five trainees gave up--and quit the entire course. And what did the team do - They started to sing. The instructor describes it as follows :

"The chattering teeth and shivering moans of the trainees were so loud it was hard to hear anything and then, one voice began to echo through the night--one voice raised in song," he said. "The song was terribly out of tune, but sung with great enthusiasm. One voice became two and two became three and before long everyone in the class was singing. We knew that if one man could rise above the misery then others could as well."

A shared goal, a common plan and training partners make a huge difference to your running. I would have given up running if not for the group I joined early on. I would not have achieved my sub-2 if it were not for the bunch of us who had this dream to get it done in that particular race and planned for it. The group’s enthusiasm, the collective knowledge can help not only a beginner but an experienced runner. My Comrade run would not have been possible if it were not for someone or the other from my group supporting me for those long tiring runs. (Thanks Ultrons!!) Join a group to get inspired and motivated and to inspire and motivate.

So lets be a SEAL in our own way and keep running !!!

Sub 2 Hr HM Finish

When I started running 5 years back, being a science student and used to extrapolations, it was easy for me to arrive at my estimated 21km time based on the 5ks I was doing then – 2hrs. It seemed like a nice rounded off number and sounded good too. And then somebody said why not a Sub -2 and I said – why not? All I had to do was run that last 1km faster than the average (and working it all out on excel, it didn’t seem like that big a task!!). However, my first half marathon on a hot dusty Sunday in August of 2010 in a 2:57 sent my maths flying out of the window (at a speed at which Kenyans run or may be faster!!!). So the road to a sub 2 hr finish seemed like a long one but I wasn’t the one to give up. I kept making progress and kept improving my timing, looking for that one race where I would get a sub 2 hr finish - the one with the finish time which has a big figure of “1”.

ADHM 2011 was a good run, I managed to better my HM time to a 2:01. Still not there but close, close enough. There were a few more of us chasing that dream of a sub 2 hour and we agreed that the next race – which was the Mawana Marathon 2012 would be the one – where we get that sub 2 finish. We put together our own bus and got ourselves a “pacer” as well. And on that perfect February Sunday morning, accompanied by a light drizzle, running that flat route from India Gate to Connaught Place and back, with the “Chak De” song playing in the background, I crossed the finish line along with a friend in 1:58 – thanks to the “param” kripa of our pacer. And felt light!!!! A milestone had been achieved, a dream realized, monkey off the back, nirvana attained and that’s when I also for the first time felt like a “fast runner”.

Now it was just another fast time. I had improved from a 2:57 to a 2:01 in a year, and that 56 minutes drop was Huge but it was not as satisfying as that 4 mins shave off to get to a 1:57. What is it about a Sub 2 hr HM finish that most of us set as a target for ourselves? What is about it that achieving it makes us heave a sigh of relief, gives us a feeling of satisfaction, and makes us celebrate our running as never before?

The fact is that a majority of us are amateur / recreational runners and are just happy to be chugging along till we get stronger and “want to get faster”. Then every minute counts, we want to shave off minutes in each and every run that we do. We start setting goals, time targets for ourselves. Self-improvement is a fun and exciting adventure. And as we engage with others more, we become more knowledgeable, we – the middle of the pack runners - become hungry. We, the ones who make up the biggest crowd in any running event and who jostle our way in that thick crowd of sweaty smelly runners, want to break away. There is that desire to STAND out. And more importantly, have that sense of accomplishment, a sense of having arrived and by what - by being able to run fast enough by getting a finish time starting with a big “1”. It’s as if with the big figure change from “2” to “1”, we cross a threshold – the threshold to qualify as a fast runner, a serious runner, an accomplished runner!!! It’s a hype we as runners have created, a goal post set for every new runner – it’s the ticket to the exclusive club of “sub-2 hour finisher”. And I am glad we have done it and created this big hullaboo – it keeps us motivated, this is what you think of when your body on that 5th 400m interval wants to stop but you continue and do 5 more, this is what gets you on top of that long 1km hill again and again, this is what gets you out of the bed be it rain, sun or cold. And when you get your “sub 2”, its sweet !!!! Trust me !!!

How to Train for a Sub 2 hour finish

There are enough training manuals and plans to help one train for a sub-2 hour finish. Each of those are good and cover the essentials. I am giving below what worked for me :

1. Loads of attitude – believe that you are a Sub-2 hour runner and run like that

2. Hill Training – I personally have benefitted a lot from that and love the hill repeats

3. Run Longer – Do your long runs for 24-25km. More you get your legs used to the pounding, less you will struggle in the final leg of the race

4. Cadence – This one needs a full post of its own. But this is nothing but your “foot turnover”. Higher the cadence, less the impact or the shock the foot feels and therefore lesser chance of an injury and a stronger you.

5. Progressive Runs – I swear by them. Run each Km faster than the previous one.

6. Discipline – Be disciplined about your training.

I will do a separate detailed post on training for a sub-2 hour HM and also cover the training program I followed. Till then google away as I am doing right now (to read up on how to get a 1:45 finish time for a HM !!!)     

Finish times - Do they matter?

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The curtain on this year’s ADHM has come down. My own run was a personally satisfying one. The awful lot that I am travelling these days, just didn’t give me enough time for a good serious preparation. This is despite me announcing my target of 1.45 to my running group so that I could be kept on track by them – but nah it didn’t help. And so a sub 2 finish (though 9 minutes slower than my PB at ADHM) was happily accepted.

There were many beaming faces who managed their PBs and equal number of sad, frustrated faces who despite a good training just did not make it that day – or missed their target not by a few seconds but minutes. The one thing you could hear all around was everyone asking the other – “how was your run?” followed by “what time?”. Now we runners may say we run for fun, and most of us do that as well, but there is this one or two runs in a year when you really want to excel, you want to prove it yourself that you can do better, you secretly want to get closer to someone else’s time ;), you push yourself and get your mind to rule over your body to reach that state of exhilaration and lock in your achievement. And ADHM provides that opportunity to excel. According to me ADHM is like that easy paper a child knows he can crack with some decent preparation and can always brag about to others. I say this because I do that too. (Did you not notice the subtle mention of my 1:50 PB above !!!)

So the question is – does finish time matter? Ofcourse it does. For those who have trained for it and have diligently followed a plan – giving up on their social commitments, dietary indulgences, sleep etc – for them it matters a lot. For me, atleast, running was a way to prove to myself I can do more – that I am capable of doing much more than I can ever imagine - and that is the case for a lot of us. And the finish times are a measure of that “more”, of “success”. For us runners in NCR and even those who travel to Delhi for this event, this is their test, the day of reckoning, whether you have trained for it or not, its your barometer (or your speedometer!!) to know how far you have come as a runner - whether you have a good day or a bad day, you know exactly what went right and what needs a correction... And we all know that even though there are races every month (the running calendar needs more weekends in a year!!!!) this is the ultimate test. If you are racing it, it is with a purpose - this is not another training run, this is the real thing.

And so if you see a smiling, beaming face – go ask him / her “what time?” he / she wants to tell you and the world (the FB posts ensure that those who didn’t ask or know, will know it too and the accolades remain there forever !!!! – I hope you people did “Like” my Comrades post on FB !!!) Go cheer for their success, for their win. But be mindful of those who couldn’t make it. There are those with pragmatic wisdom, who move on – even if they cant put a reason behind their failure, they know it was “not their day”. Either the body failed them or the mind was just not upto it and got distracted. And so go wish them too –for a better training, for the next one. And so what do you do with the ones who do not move on – well I need to meet a runner like that and then will advise !!!! We runners are the resilient ones – one bad race does not break us – we start browsing the net for the next race, go look up the training plan again, modify it and are back in our beast modes for that next race. See you New Delhi Marathon in Feb 16 with a faster stronger me !!! and Good Luck to all of you too !!

Running for fun or with a goal 

There is no right or wrong on this one. Most of us start with a goal in mind – let me just run uptil that next block and that’s it, let me get my sub-2 and I am done (my friends still tease me for this statement of mine made in 2012 !!!), one full and nirvana – and we continue because setting those goals is fun too. Every run will not be fun – some of the runs will kick your @$ (literally - with a not to subside pain), some would leave you gasping for breath (a friend loves his intervals and I hate those) – but every run will only make you wiser and stronger that is if you listen to your body and that is what will also keep the fun in the run!!! My personal take – as long as the motivation to get out of the door is there – whether for having a fun run or with a goal in mind, its fine. And so keep running !!!

I am a Runner

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I am a runner. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, sister, career woman and a lot more. But of all these, the only role that sets me free, that reveals the real me, that makes me believe in my own immeasurable power, that takes me away from the various binds of this new age life, that makes me feel like a Rock star is that of a Runner. Over the years, that's one persona of mine that I have started identifying with more and more. My everyday routine is looked at with the "Running Lens" - each task, each win, each setback is seen with the eyes of a runner and everything in life is equated to my running life of training runs, races, PBs, missed runs etc. But above all I have this hunger to do more everywhere - as a mother, as a wife, as a corporate worker. Stretch, go on, push the boundaries is the running lingo that I have started applying to other areas of my life. There are days when I grimace, have self-doubts - typical to how I feel at the India Gate hexagon Km 16 of every ADHM - but I look past them to a new day brimming with hope - this is the turn onto Mathura Road Km 17.5 of ADHM.

So in that sense, there is my life before and after I became a runner. When I started running 5 years back I was coming out of a deep abyss of self-pity, some personal and professional failures and losses and was grabbing anything and everything that could help me feel like a persona grata from a persona non-grata. I tried dancing classes, joined a reading club, started accepting invites for events and parties just so that I could belong somewhere. They say this is what we do when we are trying to find our next milestone - the next big thing which can identify us. Humans go through this many a times during their life time and the trigger always is that urge to “do more” - to be able to identify ourselves with a higher meaningful purpose. And so I discovered my “identity” one spring morning when I laced my gym shoes (nowadays I get my special brand of 'Running Shoes' for different kind of runs shipped from US but back then it was anything colorful and “value for money” shoes bought on sale and for multi-purpose use including gym) and left my condominium gates to go run on the roads.

Just for disclaimers let me also mention that running was not new to me. I was an "accomplished" sprinter and high & long jumper in school and college (accomplishment measured by the gold and silver medals won :)). Not only that. I was on every school team - hockey, basketball, volleyball and was called on for javelin throws and shot-puts too if the teachers could not find anyone to complete the team. So a born athlete or an active child - whatever one may say.

But that morning when I ran on the city roads - what I later measured driving the car as a 5km distance – what I felt was different - it was liberating. It was exhilarating. It was different from the sprints I was used to running as a child. And that run was followed by another run a few days later, and another and another and I was hooked and on a path to become a better person, a changed person who had found a purpose and a new way of looking at things. Running has helped me change my perspective on many day to day issues we all deal with. Its given me friends for life who I have seen on the race tracks never giving up on themselves or on me and I know I can count on them for anything. And the best thing of it all is that I very proudly say “I am a runner” !!

Now what prompted me on that particular day to put my shoes on and go running is a topic of another post which will follow soon.

How to start running

Many people tell me that they too want to run but don’t know how to start. My answer is always the same. Tomorrow morning put your alarm for 45mins earlier than usual. Get up, put on your shoes, go out and run / walk around your complex or to the next block and that’s it. Do that for 2-3 more days. And you would be hooked as it becomes a habit. In being able to get up early, you have won half the battle and the rest is an easy job – put one foot in front of the other!!! For those few days, treat this as the most important task of your day, let your co-workers know - you will be late to work if you need some rest post your run or you will leave early if you need that 1 hr nap in the evening, let your spouse know you will need help in household chores in the morning – Seek help. Because if you can continue, the 1-2km run/walk for a few days, your journey has begun. And if you can find a runner friend, ask for help from him/her. We runners in that sense love our kind and will do anything to grow our tribe !!!!